Moving on...

It was crazy. I expected it. But that doesn’t change anything. It felt like being thrown out of my “routine” life to experience a non-stop roller coaster year. In a nutshell (2006); I went into the Army, got transferred to the Police, missed out on OCS to become an Officer, became an OCT and graduated as an Inspector, went from 0 to 8 pull ups but missed out on a gold for IPPT, lost about 8 kg (put some/most of it back on too), got my A-level results, did not get into the local university to study medicine, aborted going to the U.K to do the same, found other options in Malaysia and Australia, got inspired to ride a motorbike and got my licence.

I achieved some of my goals, missed out on others but what I did not prepare for is what shaped 2006 for me. It was revolutionary as I parted with some of my old friends, made a record number of new friends in a year and subsequently parted with them too. If my friends were “Serangoon Road”, 2006 was a “Sunday”. Point being, a lot happened. And interestingly, whether it was parting with a 10-month-old friend or a 10-year-old friend, it was just as difficult. A bunch of them went overseas for further studies. On the other hand, 43 others like me were stuck together for the duration of our OCT course. And if you thought 9 weeks in BMT was a time to bond, try 10 months. After a while we dreaded living with each other, hated each other’s face and couldn’t wait to get out of there. But when the time finally came, a sense of nostalgia overcame us. I cannot remember the last time I had so much fun. The 10 months I spent there were pure entertainment. (Apart from the 13 exams we had to sit for and a lot of the “sai-kang” we had to do) Simply because we had the craziest, coolest, lamest, funniest, laziest, uncivilized, most patient, diligent, chilled out, cunning, daring people I have ever met, living together. It was wild. As we reminisced at our last dinner together, we laughed, and some still had one last prank left in them but each of us knew, deep down inside, this was it. It was time to move on.

As the year came to an end and as I went to farewell parities and the airport, time and again, to see my friends off; or simply caught up with my old mates over lunch, there was a common sense of loss. There is a lot I take with me, but there are some things that just won’t be there anymore. My friends from my childhood, junior college or national service are all eternal. Only because time is limited and life is a certain, I am writing this entry. After all, having just turned 20, I am going through my ¼ life crisis, so please forgive me if I have stopped making sense.

“Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?”

A picture tribute to a very special friend of mine, Sean

IT support by Sudhanshu Biyani

The difference between Love, Marriage and Love Marriage

Wishing everyone a very belated happy new year. At this time of the year, I expected myself to write “Report Card 2006” as a follow up to my “Crystal ball 2006” entry last year and of course about my recent graduation from the Police Academy as an Inspector. But to the surprise of many, including myself, I am sharing my thoughts on a more intriguing (relevant and less boring too) issue about Love, Marriage and Love Marriage. (Now that I have spent a year in NS maybe I should try gay marriages next time)

Disclaimer: My thoughts are expressed in my own personal capacity (Duh! It is my blog!) And may sound random, wild and incoherent given my little personal experience in the field. Also, any reference to anyone in particular is purely coincidental so take no offence. No pun intended. Besides, it is only my humble attempt in trying to understand some of the esoteric philosophies that surround “love”, “marriage” and everything else in between.

Love is “a positive emotion of regard and affection” and can also be said to be “endearment” or “devotion”. Marriage is a union, a commitment where you are “voluntarily joined for life”. You add them together you get love marriage; and you live happily ever after. Or do you? There is a reason why many people still get their marriages arranged because love marriage is not for the faint-hearted. Expectations are higher when love comes first because you chose. (Ironically, the expectations to compromise and understand do not always follow!) Everyone needs security, assurances, that things will work out so most leave it to fate to decide because that gives you the indemnity from the blame, if any. Fair enough. But those who decide to profess their love, commit their future or sacrifice everything for the special someone should do it then follow through. Don’t give it up at the very first hurdle of a parent’s ultimatum or differences that crop up. If you can come so far in a relationship then something must have been right. It is what brought you together in the first place. Break ups are painful and unnecessary. If we are unprepared, expect different things, don’t know the consequences, then we end up blaming everything else but the facts. When I told a close friend of mine who broke up after being in a relationship for 4 years, that “I understand” he replied dolefully, “You don’t understand Chirag, and I pray to god you never will because its painful”

…and unnecessary.



“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, it comes from wanting to control it.”

A Whole New World

26/10/06 - 27/11/06

One month. Two experiences. A dozen lessons learnt. A great deal accomplished.

On the ground with the men and women of the Singapore Police Force

I was attached to Bishan neighborhood Police Centre for two weeks to learn first hand what it is to be a police officer on the ground. In a nutshell,

I learnt that...

The operations room is a cool and powerful place. (Yes, it's a lot like the ones you see in the movies!)
Knocking on tables when you are free just brings you more work and your colleagues won't be too happy about that.
You can bring your son to the police centre if he is naughty and we will be more than happy to make sure he never gives you any more trouble.
When you sit in a padded room in the Institute of Mental Health with a drunk, crazy Indian dude who is a US citizen and speaks a mix of Arabic, Urdu and Hindi, you don't really need any other form of entertainment.
That when you visit MOS at 2 am and do a routine check with the bouncer as everyone looks on, you feel good.
"Tango Yankee" means thank you over the communication set and just to understand everything else they say is a skill on its own!
Loading your revolver for the first time and holstering it before going for patrol is simply put, scary shit.
There are many people who are less fortunate, who have to deal with a whole lot more and that we are the luckier ones in life.
That a police officer's job is anything but easy; it is tough, it is demanding.

Hats off to the men and women who keep our streets safe, every day and every night.

Bound for adventure, changed for life

After my attachment I went to Outward Bound Singapore at Pulau Ubin for a 12 day course. However the experience can be summed up in what I learnt in 4 days, 3 nights; out in the middle of the sea, sitting in a kayak, at the mercy of Mother Nature.

I thought I knew what...

Fear was until we set out to do over 120km of kayaking, going round half of Singapore and back, in 4 days having learnt what it was just a day earlier.
Challenge was until we finally set out on our expedition, highly motivated ready to take anything that comes our way, head on.
Exhaustion was until we kayaked for up to 10 hours a day with 5 minutes break every 45 minutes.
Hunger was until we had 2 pieces of Oreo biscuit for lunch in the middle of nowhere after 6 hours of kayaking.
Frustration was until we had the current against us and every time we took 2 steps forward, we would drift back 5 and if you stopped peddling, you would go back 7!
Limits were until we thought we couldn't do it anymore, but we still did.
Pushing them was until we knew we couldn't do it anymore, but we still did.
Helplessness was until I saw some of my closest, strongest friends, puking like there was no tomorrow but just having to hang in there, literally.
Pain was until my shoulder hurt like it was going to dislocate and all I could do was shed a tear, growl in anger, put some axe oil and continue peddling.
Motivation was until you peddled through your pain because your buddy is doing the same, because you don't want to let your team mates down, because you can't afford to.
Inspiration was until your whole life flashes across your face and you draw energy from everything; family, friends, loved ones and sometimes even the people who love to hate.
A storm was until we got caught in one, waves smashing, rain pounding right in the middle of the sea and all we could do was... peddle!
A sunrise was until I saw a new exotic one every morning as we set out to kayak at first light.
So near yet so far was until I saw Komlas and McDonalds at ECP from out there but just had to settle for another packet of Oreo biscuits for lunch.
Accomplishment was until we saw the shorelines of Pulau Ubin as we returned 4 days later having traveled a mammoth 120km in our self-powered kayaks.
Life was until I realised it was far from over (although at times we really thought we were going to die.)

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

Hope is not a plan

The title of this entry, “hope is not a plan”, is the quote that got me thinking about all that I am going to write in this entry. It came from a book written by a famous TV journalist, in reference to the post Katrina “management disaster” that took place in the United States. The Fifa World Cup recently took place and it was every country’s dream to not only be a part of it, but also to maybe even win it. But dreams are not visions. They are mere wishes based on wants. Singapore had its own campaign a few years back, GOAL 2010. It was a vision, a goal to make it to the 2010 World Cup. It was brave and at the same time, not outrageous. We had a plan –I am a Singapore citizen now- but sadly, pressure got the better of the local football association and the so very promising campaign was scraped. It was never about really making it to the World Cup but who is to explain that to society. Back in Junior College, my General Paper tutor gave me one advice on writing essays. Her exact words were, “ Plan your essay till it hurts”. Yes it was crazy, but she could not have been more right. Your essay is as good as your plan and your life as good as your visions. Only when it hurt did I know I had thought it through sufficiently and I knew what I wanted, and what I did not want. Another time when I was on holiday in Malaysia, I met a hotel manager and saw a picture of a beautiful lobby in his office. The hotel’s lobby was nothing like it and although the hotel owners were facing bankruptcy and a whole lot of other legal issues, this man was confident about seeing his vision through, to make his lobby like the one in the picture. He said to me, “I see this picture everyday and I know why I am here.” And that is what I have, a plan and a vision, to study medicine; get a girlfriend within the next 5 years and to ride a bike. I have got rejections (for medicine!!), endless lessons to pass and time and money both running out. But what we have to do is ask the right questions about our future, and then we see our present in a very different light. Ultimately, you will not be denied your destiny because what lies behind you and what lies in front of you matters little when compared to what lies within you.


“Hope is not a plan”

A special tribute to some very special people

Every entry I write takes months of inspiration, a kick ass quote I get from some book and of course a lot of free time. This time its different. Straight from the heart, a big thank you to some of my oldest and most loyal friends. It doesn’t end here, it never will. But we all move on. The past ten odd years of my life have been nothing less than amazing for me. Each one of these friends is special in their own way and I have developed a unique bond with every single one of them. Most importantly, they are like family. All of them are like brothers and sisters (elder or younger doesn’t necessarily depend on age). The beauty is we dont have to be best friends, neither do we have to meet everyday but we still trust each other, are there for each other, in every sense of the word. Dance was definitely something that will always be a big part of us; from Hindi school to Diwali, from weddings to Holi, we did it all. I have done countless dances with some of them for ten years now and I have to say, it’s been an honor. As I ended my last dance, I looked back with satisfaction but looked forward with a heavy heart. That day as I walked backstage and embraced my best friends, time slowed down and memories came rushing back. We stood there in silence, enjoying every bit of that moment. It seemed like forever and I guess that is what it really is. Things are going to be different 5, 10 years from now but I am never going to forget all the wonderful moments we shared. It’s a beautiful ending to an extraordinary journey. Whatever happens in the future, I am convinced, I have lived the best days of my life.


"Friends are golden, but my friends are gold."

Give blood. Give life. Be responsible.

Every 6 minutes, someone is in need of blood. Singapore needs 91,250 units of blood annually or 250 units daily to meet the needs of all hospitals. In hospitals, blood is needed during bone marrow transplants for leukemia patients, for thalasemia patients needing regular blood transfusions, during daily major and minor surgeries, for accident victims, for patients with kidney failure, liver disease or burns; a newborn baby and for patients living with cancer or severe anaemia. Modern processing techniques mean that a single blood donation, when separated into its components, can help at least three different patients i.e, can save up to three lives. The average adult has 4 - 5 litres of blood. At each donation, only 450 ml of blood is drawn. This is about one-tenth of the total volume of blood in the body. The volume donated is replaced in 72 hours. The health of each potential donor is carefully assessed by attending doctors and nurses before donation. Giving blood will have no harm to your body and will not weaken your immune system or cause any weight gain. Our bodies only replace the blood donated - they do not overcompensate and produce excess blood or fat! According to Red Cross (Singapore), over 50% of Singapore's population is eligible for blood donation but sadly less than 1% actually donate regularly. Youths aged 16 to 25 years make up 40% of the total voluntary blood donor population -which highlights the importance of their contribution- but this is only 5% of the total youth population in this age bend. At the end of the day, you don't need a time, a place and a reason to donate blood, all you need is a heart. Think about the people in hospitals fighting for their lives, everyday. Think about the people who have had their surgeries postponed due insufficient blood in the blood bank. God forbid, if one day it is you, your family member or your friend, who is need. Would we still be thinking twice?


"Your blood is replaceable... a life is NOT!"

More than words...!@#$%^&*()_+

Expression is, as the dictionary defines it, the communication of your beliefs, opinions, feelings and thoughts, with or without words. The crux to effective communication is as simple as "say what you mean" and "mean what you say". Easier said than done. The problem starts when we say what we think rather than what we mean. There is a difference. The missing element is that of analysis of the possible interpretations and hence the evaluation of the repercussion of what is to be said. Selection of words is another critical part of properly expressing yourself. For example, abusive language may correctly reflect your anger or frustration but it is offensive and reflects your discourtesy and your insensitivity to the people around you. By the rule of 21 (any good or bad habit can form in 3 weeks), I can safely say I have given up swearing. It’s my 28th day today since the day I promised myself I would not swear anymore, and would call to apologize any friend every time I did. I already feel like a new person. Another tip for effective communication is to start your sentences with a "please" and end them with a "thank you".After that, it doesn't matter what you say in-between. As far as non-verbal communication is concerned, believe it or not but research has shown that body language and facial expression make up for more than 50% of any conversation! So be mindful of not only your body language but also how other people’s body language and facial expression change as you converse; and respond accordingly. Learn to read between the lines. Finally, be pithy, crisp and mellifluent in your own expression.


“Be quick to listen and slow to speak"

You cannot be serious?!

Nigeria, a country of 150 million people, remains among the world's poorest countries in terms of per capita income. Yet, the world's happiest people live in Nigeria. Survey after survey has shown that the desire for material goods, which has increased hand in hand with average income, is a happiness suppressant. Examinations of lottery winners have shown that their level of happiness, regardless of the amount won, returns to former levels within a year. So what makes us happy? Trying to find nirvana by doing solitary soul searching is not the best idea. When two American psychologists studied hundreds of students and focused on the top 10% "very happy" people, they found they spent the least time alone and the most time socializing. True happiness, contrary to popular belief, is not experienced on the couch in front of the television or the bed with the King Kong mattress. Rather, happiness is derived from intense concentration, which is the main reason that activities such as music, art, literature, sports and other forms of leisure have survived. The essential ingredient for concentration is that it involves a challenge that matches one’s ability. Hence to achieve enduring happiness, keep finding new opportunities and challenges, for happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. Another element of happiness, laughter, can be explained with the following analogy. When we have a headache, we take aspirin knowing it will relieve us of our misery. Interestingly, just by believing that aspirin is the best remedy cures half the headache. Then, the aspirin itself cures the other half. This is scientifically proven and scientists call it the placebo effect. Similarly, by laughing, which is another component of happiness; we sub consciously become more relaxed and up beat leading to conscious joy. So as a habit, laugh at least twice a week, to the point that your stomach hurts and your face goes red.

For a start, visit the following links and have a good laugh.

www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/endofworld.html
www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/sheblockedme.html
www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/backstreet.html

And many more...(Please watch at your own discretion!)

"Nothing in life was meant to be so serious. Don’t make it."

Break Point

Stop. Look around, analyse and restart. Break point is a time we take a deeper look at who we are, where we are coming from and where we are heading. There is no fix time or place for this but is usually associated with a failure, some sort of disappointment or loss. Yes, in tennis (if you are serving), it also means one more point from losing the game and that is what I am talking about, when the odds are against you. Life is about choices. A good decision today is better then the best decision next week. So take charge and don’t be satisfied with going with the flow. No one said we cannot have a bad day, week or month. The important thing is that we learn; experience. Results are superficial and success is temporary but what really matters, is how we change as a result of the experience. Take a break once in a while, refresh and restart with a new perspective and purpose because the journey never really ends. An example to sum up: In the finals of a cricket world cup match, you are batting and your team requires six runs off the last ball to win. What is more important than hitting that six, is to believe that you can hit that six. Then, whether you hit that six or not becomes insignificant. =)


"Experience is a hard teacher because it gives the test first and the lessons later."

11B

I had heard all about it, learnt all about it. Now I have experienced it for myself. 3 weeks into National Service and life suddenly seems so different. Everyone goes through the same emotional roller coaster but its fun if your friend is sitting beside you; or should I say, you learn to make the guy sitting beside you your friend. It’s amazing to see that the same person who did absolutely nothing for one whole month could learn how to strip and assemble an M-16 (yup it’s a real gun), fire it, shout out commands in a language he never learnt and execute them as if he learnt them before he learnt how to walk. Wash his own clothes, bath with more than one person in the cubicle, change attire 5 times a day and eat the same food 7 days a week. Jump over walls (or at least try to), do balancing acts, climb ropes and do some ninja turtle once in a while. This is just the start of a long, hard but fulfilling road. You want to take it one at a time but it is difficult not to think about how different a person you would be the same time, exactly two years from now. I have exchanged my Identity Card for my 11B (SAF ID Card), freedom for discipline,civilian life for army duties, 2 years of my time for a lifetime worth of experiences.

"The ripest peach is highest on the tree"

Crystal Ball 2006...

A weekend in December 2006, around 7 p.m, I am jogging with my hand phone strapped to my arm and earphones stuffed in my ear. 5kg lighter, 12 pull-ups stronger, in OCS, admitted to NUS Medicine (after getting brilliant A level results of course) and having a place in at least 2 universities in the UK. That’s my goal for 2006. If last year was hard, this year is going to be crazy. But 2006 is going to be a special year. Many of us will be going to, or continuing university, some of us will be starting our NS (some of us finishing!), others will be taking their A levels, and a few will be experiencing JC life for the first time. Whatever the case, we all will face challenges, uncertainty, failure and success. My goals will be at the back of my mind, but getting them will not be the most important thing. Leaving no stone unturned to do so, will be.
So 2006…bring it on…

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

All you need is love!

click on the play button to enjoy "all you need is love" by Beatles

Christmas has just passed and so has the first anniversary of the tragic day the tsunami struck. As we remember the past year, forget the love that you lost and cherish all the love that you got, for there are many who celebrated Christmas without their loved ones for the first time this year. A third of the 200 000 people who died exactly a year ago were children. Many parents lost some of their kids; some lost all. It is tragic, to say the least. So spread love dear friends, for love has incredible powers. Love is simply, amazing. It can change moods, alter perspectives, resolve issues, light up the dark, turn a frown into a smile, transform sadness into joy, and the possibilities are endless. So love, regardless of "who", "what", "where", "why", "when" and "how" because it doesn’t matter, because it shouldn’t matter. This new year, love, because there is nothing like it. Because believe it not, all you need is love…wishing everyone a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. God Bless.

"Take time to love and be loved, for it is the greatest gift"

The deferred life plan

One third of our life is spent sleeping. In your lifetime, you would have spent about 6 years of it dreaming. That is more than 2,100 days spent in a different world. That in short, is a lot of time wasted (ironically it is when the brain waves are most active). We all have plans, dreams and goals but in their pursuit, we defer living with what we have and who we are now, to later. We sacrifice today for a better tomorrow; regret our yesterday and as a result miss the point in life. Make things happen and enjoy victory and defeat with the same exuberance. As a dear friend once said, "Dream as if you will live forever and live as if you will die today".

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out"

Untitled

So it finally came to this, face-to-face, sipping identical coffees, I let it out.I said the three magic words but nothing happened. I went on, but suddenly I was brought down to reality. She spoke. Heartbeat at 200 beats per min. but it did not really matter anymore. Words came out, carefully and selectively. I waited, and was left waiting. Few words came out but it was what was not said that puzzled me. I was left thinking, how wonderful relationships could fizzle out so abruptly. I asked myself, "Where did it all go wrong?", Maybe it didn't. We all move on and so will I, and I owe it to the people around me who helped me through this. I have learnt to appreciate what I have or had even more. I drove to a dead end and as I reverse, I am forced to look back. But in retrospect, it will bring a smile or even a laugh as we see the lighter side of everything, the sooner you see that, the better.


"Positive attitude is not a destination, but a way of life."

Memories...

Countless photographs are taken in the mind everyday as we move on to the future while remembering the past. We remember the times we spent with our friends and family.The moments of greatness, happiness, laughter and enjoyment as well as the moments of sadness, tears, dissapointments and heartbreak. Memories are often painful, for the bad ones are bad and for the good ones, we know, we may never be able to experience them ever again. But we still remember and we all move on, whether we like it or not. As time passes, places change, people change, relationships change, YOU change, everything changes! But never forget to remember, the times you had together, with your best friends, your family and even your worst enemies. As we build our lives in seperate directions, we remain bonded, only by the memories we share. Treasure them, because at the end of the day its all you have got.

"Memories are forever"

Introduction

Hey friends,

Welcome to my world of thoughts, a blog i have created to give you all a peak into what goes on in my little head. But first I want to apologise to all those whom ive told how much i hate blogs and people who blog because i guess i too have fallen for it. The blog will serve as an outlet for me, to share my thoughts, something i guess all of us are constantly searching for."In my world of thoughts..." would be a weekly affair where i will write about everything and anything under the sun, moon and stars. It will be a simple email to all and i will subsequently put it up on my blog which is www.imwot.blogspot.com You will then be able to view all my entries there. Please feel free to comment by either emailing me or directly on my blog. I would love to discuss certain issues i raise in this weekly email to greater extent with those who are as intellectual or simply as bored as me. I really hope you will enjoy reading as much i will enjoy writing this. Ultimately i hope theese paragraphs of my thoughts would be something you could relate to, learn from, think about or simply laugh at. thats all for the introduction!, i will have my first entry in next week...tc and god bless..


lots of luv,

Chirag